Just saw a review of a book about relational counselling called ‘The Beautiful Risk: A New Psychology of Loving and Being Loved.” Some snippets from the review:
The author (James Olthuis) says, “Uncertainties, confusion and paradox are appropriate descriptions for our world at the dawn of our new millennium. Despite unparalleled growth in almost every area of human endeavor, there has not been parallel growth in our ability to know ourselves and get along with each other.”
One of the chapters is entitled ‘the Central Relational Paradox’, describing the way we disconnect and connect with others in ways that attempt to minimise personal risk. This book offers a challenge to take the beautiful risk, to be open to vulnerability and growth, and to a deepening of connections at all levels of being.
I’ve blogged here and elsewhere about is/ought distinctions, ethical theory and other pretty philosophical and idea-based stuff. Don’t get me wrong – good thinking is great, and contrary to popular so-called intellectual adage, there is nothing more practical or ‘down to earth’ than a good idea(l). But lest any readers be led to think that all I think that matters is intellectual argument for beliefs, I thought a post of a different flavour was in order.
It’s really a shameful thing (which I as a pastor can and do contribute to) that we feel we have to hide our sins. Hiding your sins, failures and temptations (not to mention fears, anxieties and frustrations) is the surest way to ensure that they continue to control you.
Public confession of your deepest/darkest secrets is probably not an honest, helpful or edifying course of action for you or the people you broadcast them to. But sharing them both with God and a co-life-journeyer ((Always both – too many Protestants only confess to God and not to one another (distorting and parting from the instruction of Martin Luther in doing so.)) is the proper way to deal with them.
“The heart of psychotherapy is confession.” (Carl Jung)
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Paul – Galatians 6:2)