interesting people in america

A Screenplay (from a friend back in Missouri – relating a work story, which made me giggle… ) :

Int: Starbucks coffee shop. Very slow. Nothing happening.

(phone rings)
(Wes answers phone)
Wes: Starbucks on Sunshine, this is Wes… Gary?… Yes, we have lemon loaf and banana loaf…
Caitlin(in headset): Welcome to Starbucks, this is Caitlin, what can I get started for you?
Wes(in phone): Yes we have both lemon loaf and banana loaf, and you want them in two separate bags, then in a seperate single bag.
Caitlin(in headset): Hey Cheryl. I know you come here all the time, but I don’t know your drink by heart. Alright, that’s decaf, quad, six pump sugar free vanilla, breve, 120 degree, no foam latte, with no sleeve… two? Ok just a moment and I’ll have your total.
Wes: In phone. Yeah, we can do that, lemon loaf, banana loaf, two separate bags, then in one single bag. Yeah, and there’s plenty of both… ok, Gary, we’ll see you in the drive through.
Aaron: Who was that?
Wes: It was Gary.
Aaron: Do we know him?
Wes: I dont think so.

(Caitlin moves to the bar to make Cheryl’s drinks. Aaron moves to the window to collect money and facilitate witty banter with the store’s most insane regular)

(window opens)
Aaron: Hey how’s it going?
(Cheryl steps out of her rusty dodge caravan and stands at the window)
Cheryl: It’s good.
Aaron: Happy Fourth of July. Are you going to shoot fireworks tonight?
Cheryl: Yep. Got five acres on the edge of town and we are going to shoot some big stuff.
Aaron: It’s good you live on the edge of town because fireworks are illegal in Springfield city limits, right?
Cheryl: Yep. My friend sells fireworks in Republic and he’s giving us a bunch of fireworks, but you know Springfield is crazy because you cant sell fireworks in the city, and you cant even store a surplus near a tent in the city.
Aaron: Oh, that’s crazy.
Cheryl: Yeah my friend calls Springfield the Crazy F**k city.
Aaron: Oh, yeah. It’s pretty wild.
Cheryl: yeah, well it’s all them negative vortexes.
Aaron: Vortexes?
Cheryl: Yeah you got to watch out for them. All the people with negative chakras come to springfield because they are drawn by the negative vortexes.
Aaron: I had no idea.
Cheryl: Yeah, ten years ago all the new agers discovered a vortex that just sucks in all the bad chakras, and since then the whole place has gone crazy. We got witches and new agers just battling it out in the vortexes. Real crazy sh*t.
Aaron: Oh. I guess you’re right.
(Caitlin taps Aaron on the back, handing him two drinks)
(Cheryl hands Aaron her money. Aaron gets change.)
Aaron: (awkwardly) Ok, well have a good night. Um, be safe and shoot big fireworks.
Cheryl: Sure will darlin.
(Cheryl gets back in her van and Drives Away)
Aaron(to Wes): That was interesting.
Wes: Yeah, the conversation went from fireworks to vortexes pretty quickly.
Aaron: yeah, I didnt expect that.
Wes: but what I want to know is how does one get positive vortexes for their city?
Aaron: Yeah, Im sure positive vortexes would really bring up property values.

The End

And just so we’re on the same page with everything, Cheryl has also told me many times she drinks Starbucks just before she fights. Upon much elaboration on her part, I found out that when she means “fight” she actually means meeting up with those wierd guys at Phelps Grove Park and the park on National and Sunset to reenact medival battles with foam/pvc swords.